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Alien: Are these people on drugs?
Dougie: They’re infected.
Alien: With drugs?
Dougie: I better explain the movie. Humans seem to be “jumping” into deep space. It’s never explained how, but a “folded space” theory would be most likely. After an East Coast facility is lethally sterilized due to an unexpected outbreak, another facility initiates a rescue mission. The group has a secondary task to stop a shipment of infected materials as well. Not long after they get there everyone is infected by an alien parasite. Then they go crazy.
Dougie: Does that about cover it, Alien?
Alien: Um, yeah, sure. You know, Dougie, a joke’s not funny if it has to be explained.
Dougie: I don’t think the director meant for this movie to be a comedy.
Alien: Really? Because those people were crazy funny.
Dougie: Didn’t you ever encounter a parasitic organism that altered perceptions and behavior during your travels.
Alien: Of course. We called them drugs. Or Cousin Drix. He’d make me so angry and –
Dougie: Anyways… I thought the movie’s concept was pretty cool. An alien species that embodies intelligent evolution.
Alien: I thought it was about people on drugs trying to kill each other. A sort of Thunderdome in space.
Dougie: See, I think that’s where the audience gets lost. Too much shocking violence and not enough science. It seemed obvious these aliens had an intelligent design behind their actions.
Alien: Obvious to you, frickin’ smarty pants.
Dougie: But their motives weren’t properly explained. Were they infecting people for invasion, expansion, or observation purposes? Was it a matter of benign or malevolent survival?
Alien: I think you’re reading too much into this movie.
Dougie: You think so?
Alien: Yeah. It’s good old whack-a-mole fun. That’s an early human arcade game. You’re suppose to use a hammer and hit-
Dougie: I know what it is, Alien.
Alien: Okay. You don’t have to use that tone with me, Dougie.
Alien: Sure. I’m going to rate this thing and find a mole to whack.
Alien: !!! Dougie: !!
Alien: Don’t look at me like that. I like movies where humans hit each other.