ALIEN (1979) PG-13


ALIEN (1979) IMDB Click Here

Alien: Sigourney Weaver is hot!

Dougie: We’re talking about the movie, ALIEN, Alien.

Alien: Well, she’s in it.

Dougie: *Rolls eyes behind sunglasses*

Alien: You tricked me. You’re lucky those aliens are so cool.

Dougie: How did I trick you? And yes, they are the coolest aliens ever.

Alien: I take offense to that. You told me the movie was called, ALIEN. I naturally thought it was an unauthorized biography.

Dougie: That’s ridiculous! Nobody admits you exist. It’s about a ship in space responding to a distress call from an unknown vessel. They then get infected and invaded by a hostile alien species.

Alien: I know that now. I watched the movie with you.

Dougie: But maybe they don’t know.

Alien: Who’s “they”?

Dougie: The people reading this review.

Alien: Then maybe they don’t know Sigourney Weaver is hot.

Dougie: Okay, I’ll give you that. Did you like the movie even if it wasn’t about you?

Alien: No one said it wasn’t about me. But yes, I liked it. Those spider things are cute. I almost thought it was a kids’ movie until the whole acid reflux scene.

Dougie: They’re called Face-Huggers.

Alien: Exactly. They hug a lot in kids’ movies.

Dougie: Moving on. As an artist myself, I thought the H.R. Giger inspired alien designs were the best part of the film.

Alien: Is he the human who invented the radiation counter?

Dougie: No, that’s another guy.

Alien: The guy who invented those things on my planet was called Quack.

Dougie: The Quack Meter?

Alien: Yep, at lethal levels of radiation people start to Quack up.

Dougie: Really bad joke, Alien. And it has nothing to do with this movie. Hopefully, we stay on subject when we review the sequels.

Alien: There’s sequels?

Dougie: Let’s rate it!

Alien: !!!!    Dougie: !!!!

Dougie: Wow. We actually agree on something.