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Alien: These purple blobs are idiots.
Dougie: It’s a kid movie. They’re suppose to be entertaining for children.
Alien: So they sacrifice the alien character? Seriously, name one smart alien in a kids’ movie. They are always cute and stupid. Yet, somehow they can fly across galaxies.
Dougie: You’re ranting. You’re right, but you’re ranting.
Alien: It has a nice soundtrack.
Dougie: With both Rihanna and Jennifer Lopez in it, it would be stupid if it didn’t.
Alien: I like the bad guy. He’s completely misunderstood.
Dougie: Of course you like the bad guy. He’s going to destroy the world if he doesn’t get what he wants.
Alien: Can you blame him? Wouldn’t you do the same if someone took your–
Dougie: You’re going to give away the end. No spoilers! As little as possible at least.
Alien: I was going to say “rock”. Does it really matter though? Kids will talk through it the first ten times. At least if I give away the end the parents will know what happened.
Dougie: Did you like the movie?
Alien: You mean, Facebook “Like”? Meh. It was okay. I’d watch it again, but that’s only because I’m a fan of that socially inept guy from The Big Bang Theory.
Dougie: Jim Parsons?
Alien: No, John Galecki.
Dougie: He’s not in this movie. I think for a kiddie movie it’s less annoying than the usual tripe put out by Hollywood for the 5-12 year old range.
Alien: There wasn’t a single dirty joke for parents either.
Dougie: Actually, that’s one of the things I appreciate about this movie. Enough with the innuendo in kids’ movies, Tinseltown! Parents don’t want that awkward moment when their kid asks them to explain why they’re laughing at a joke the kid is too young to understand.
Alien: You’d put this movie on for your kids?
Dougie: I don’t have any–
Alien: That you know of. *Evil smile*
Dougie: *Concerned eyebrow raised* But yes, I would, if I had kids. What about you?
Alien: I can’t have kids. We’ve been over this — I’m male!
Dougie: So am I.
Alien: Really? But you have such a purty mouth.
Dougie: *Shakes head* Time for ratings, Alien.
Alien: !!! Dougie: !!!!